▲ I wish you were here
it's complicated
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May 12, 2016 14:09:11 GMT -6
Post by REESE JANZEN on May 12, 2016 14:09:11 GMT -6
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -WHO CAN SAY FOR CERTAIN MAYBE YOU'RE STILL HERE,I FEEL YOU ALL AROUND ME YOUR MEMORY'S SO CLEAR;- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -Reese would never be able to forget what happened the night her daughter was born.
It all seemed to have happened so fast. She was with her sister when her water broke, she called Connor from the road but she had no answer. The next thing Reese knew, she had doctors swirling about her, telling her what to do. Telling her that the head was out, placing a crying baby girl on her chest. Connor still wasn’t there, he wasn’t there to meet their daughter, he wasn’t there to help Reese through her intense pains. He just wasn’t there. It wasn’t until she had been cleaned up and moved back to a private room when she got the news. Connor had been in an accident while she was on her way to the hospital. He didn’t make it out of surgery and they didn’t want to tell Reese, not while she was delivering a baby. That was the last thing that they wanted on her mind while she was having a baby.
To say that she was in shock was an understatement. It was only after they took Rachel away that she found herself breaking down in her sister’s arms. What was supposed to have been a happy day became clouded with grief and sadness. Their entire life that they had planned out was no more, she would never get to see Connor again. Never be held by him, or loved by him again. He’d never hear Rachel’s laugh or see her walk or run. Not to mention the fact that she was alone with a newborn. Connor had it all figured out. He knew how they would handle waking up at night with a new baby, and he seemed to have her entire schedule planned out. Reese had no idea how the hell she would do it, but she would. She still had Connor’s parents to help out where they could, after all Rachel was their grandchild.
People seemed to treat her with kid gloves after she was back home after being in the hospital. Reese hated it. She knew how to handle death, lord only knows how much of it she had seen in her life. Between losing her parents and her little brother, Reese was used to people dying on her. It was like she was cursed or something. Reese was supposed to have been planning a sort of baby shower for people to come and meet baby Rachel, but instead she found herself planning a funeral. People would still get to meet Rachel, it just wouldn’t be in the way that everyone had wanted to meet her in.
The funeral was truly beautiful. Reese, despite being a new mother and wanted nothing more than to be curled up in bed with her daughter, wore her best black dress and went as far as doing her hair. She had to go out and buy Rachel a little black onesie. Oh god she had her father’s eyes, she was a beautiful little baby. Reese didn’t give her Connor’s last name though, she didn’t want to have a different last name that her daughter. Marriage to Connor would never happen, so it didn’t make sense to her. She dressed her tiny newborn in that dark awful color and sat silently in the church with a sleeping baby as she listened to wonderful words about Connor be spoken. She couldn’t get up there and speak, her emotions were running too high and it didn’t help that her hormones were still stupidly off the charts.
When she arrived at what would have been her in-laws, she was happy to have been back in a familiar setting. People flowed in and out, offering her their condolences and best wishes to her. Reese accepted them and took hugs where she could. She sighed as she sat outside on the porch, Rachel looking around and awake. Reese smiled down at her little baby, “He was so excited to meet you, you know.” She said softly as she let Rachel take her finger, “You were all he talked about, I think he talked to you more than he talked to me while you were inside me.” She laughed softly as Rachel gave a little smile to her mother. Reese bit down on her lip, tears threatening to fall out of her eyes, “I am sure going to miss him.” She didn’t want to cry, god she had done so much crying in the last few days.
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tags; PENELOPE BENNETT lyrics; josh groban words; 751 notes; this broke me
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▲ how rare and beautiful it is to even exist,
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May 23, 2016 22:36:35 GMT -6
Post by PENELOPE BENNETT on May 23, 2016 22:36:35 GMT -6
explain the infinite* you taught me the courage of stars before you left. how life carries on endlessly even after death. with shortness of breath you explain the infinite. how rare and beautiful it is to even exist,, Nelly still remembered her father's funeral rather vividly in her mind. Even though she'd just been a kid, everything about it remained clear. She remembered the hoards of mourners - God, her dad had really made an impact on so many people - who came to talk with her mother, who gave her and her brother tiny sympathetic smiles. She remembered the sea of black clothing, but she also remembered the sunlight. Her dad's funeral had been on one of the most gorgeous days of the year, the opposite of what one would expect from a funeral, and exactly how her dad would have wanted it. Funerals, they were for the living, a chance for those left behind to say goodbye, to remember. And she kept that in mind during Connor's funeral, Nelly sticking a little further to the back while Reese was around Connor's family.
Reese was one of those people who light seemed to follow regardless of where she went, and that was probably one of the many reasons Nelly was drawn to her as a friend. She matched her bubbly personality to a T - after all, her friend was a literal Disney princess. Reese had very quickly become one of Nelly's best friends in San Francisco, and she'd been ecstatic when she found out her friend would be having a baby. The few times Nelly met Connor she grew to like him very quickly. Like Reese, he had one of those magnetic personalities, and he and Reese truly were quite the pair. Nelly had been certain they'd make it to the end, that they'd be like a fairytale. At least, she'd been certain of that until the accident. Nelly's heart was breaking for Reese. Reese should have been able to celebrate the birth of her daughter with Connor, should have been able to celebrate their new family, their new life. And all of that was ripped away and replaced with a funeral. Nelly couldn't help but be reminded of her own mother, and the thought made her heart clench even more.
She knew without a doubt that there was nothing she could say or do to ease that type of pain. That would take time more than anything else. But she could be there for her friend, and that was exactly what she'd do. She sat through the rather beautiful ceremony then followed the crowd to the Munroe family's home, still sort of hanging back to the sidelines. She didn't want to swarm Reese more than she already was, so she gave her friend some space, instead offering some condolences to Connor's family before she filtered through the crowd. Her eyes landed on Reese and Rachel sitting on the porch, a sad smile tugging at her lips as she watched mother and daughter. She only hesitated for a moment before she made her way outside, sitting down beside Reese and giving Rachel a tiny smile. "Well hi there pretty girl," she said softly. "I've still got a pile of gifts to bring you." Hey, she loved babies - she may or may not have gone a little overboard when she found out her friend was pregnant.
Nelly bit her lip, looking at Reese now. Her expression softened a bit. "I know I don't have to tiptoe with any of this around you - I know this isn't new to you, and I'm so sorry for that." By "it" Nelly meant death, and it was terrible how much she knew Reese had seen. Her parents, her brother, her boyfriend ... Nelly couldn't imagine. Her eyes were gentle as she looked at Reese. "If there's anything I can do, I'm here for you both. Even if it's just to talk, or to bring icecream back for curling up with Rachel when everyone leaves." She offered her friend a tiny smile.
"The service was beautiful," she said softly, her eyes flickering to Rachel then back to Reese. "My mom didn't say anything at my dad's funeral either, you know. I think it was too hard ... And some things, they don't always need saying. I saw it in Connor's face - he knew how much you loved him." She tilted her head, not sure if any of this was helpful in the slightest, but she was trying. "I think they'd only need saying if ... if you needed to say them for yourself."
tagged: REESE JANZEN // lyrics: sleeping at last // notes: </333 TEMPLATE BY ELIZA @ SP & ADOXOGRAPHY
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